After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
