You don't have asthma, your pregnant
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
