This is not my ceiling
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
