no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
