She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
