sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
