we have pet lesbian snakes
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
