Kiss
Puke
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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