I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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