I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
