My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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