All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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