Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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