So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Blood and glitter go together right?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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