GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
