a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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