sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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