Just fell off a train. Bad.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
