Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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