I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
