She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
