My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
