I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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