I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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