i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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