his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
