I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
