you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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