oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
