I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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