cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize