We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
