if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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