Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
