BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
