K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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