just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
