The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
