What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
