I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
