At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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