I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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