I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
