I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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