She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
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