Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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