Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
