you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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