Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
