My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
