rhymes with "ouble enetration"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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