I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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