I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
