This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
