his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize