This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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