so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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