Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
